Blog
Acceptance revisited
by Franciska Moors
August 12, 2011
Acceptance. Yes… aahh… I love this distinction! Acceptance (not settling) is the Tiara distinction for this month. And I am playfully exploring it for the 5th time in three years now.
I like this distinction a lot. I guess it still relates to my acting – formerly – as a results oriented perfectionist, with a calling to catch other people’s or company’s goals and run like mad for them… When I think of those days, they thankfully feel far away. What a glorious feeling!
Some weeks ago a dear colleague whom I respect a lot sat down with me for a full day to discover the principles that are guiding me at the very deep level of my being. I was looking forward to revelations about my “Biggest Truth”, “innate strength”, “Biggest Fear” and “sneaky arrogance”.
I was so happy with her offer, as I am constantly looking for better understanding (haha, still that perfectionist?!). I loved spending the day with her. However, when she came to share her conclusions, I was not so happy at all. I didn’t like what was revealed. And I really didn’t like the advice that came along with her revelations. Obviously, this has nothing to do with her, her integrity, and professionality. Yet, instead, it had everything to do with my reactions.
Part of what was revealed is that my innate strength is in “being”. My sneaky arrogance is that I disconnect with those who do not match “pure being” and that I behave like Alice in Wonderland, denying parts of “earthly reality”. The advice included “be happy with what is …”. I felt caught and I felt denial. I thought “sure I know what I am doing, don’t tell me. I’ll tell you”. And I questioned: “Being” is a strength? So what, that doesn’t put food on the table or get me on a plane from the Netherlands to Chicago! See how I connect to earthly reality!?”
Well, I was happy with the lens of “Acceptance” that Tiara is providing this month to view occurrences in our lifes… This is what I did: I accepted what she said and the feeling I experienced in my system (it hurt). I accepted the pain. I accepted it was her analysis, and that I trust her, and I accepted that I had a choice: digest, leave aside, or throw it away. I chose to digest (choosing feels good!). That digestion took me 2 weeks. And now I am grateful for the whole experience and what it has brought to me. It was really rich and I recommend it.
So my invitation to you for this week would be to revisit the concept of “acceptance” and see what can be revealed to you. You may want to ask yourself:
- Is there an area in my life where I am being upset or angry at this moment?
- What’s the subject? What is at stake?
- Try accepting your feelings about that subject, for they are what they are.
- List the thoughts that come to your mind, writing them down is helpful.
- Spend some time simply “being” with your feelings, and “being” with your thoughts, preferably without turning to action for a while. That can be less than 2 weeks; something might happen in 2 minutes. Just see what happens, and…
- Let me know: I’d really like hearing what comes from your experiment!