Blog
The Art of Seduction
by Alison Miller
March 18, 2010
On Tuesday of this week, Beth Ruske and I led a Tiara Teleconnect on “The Art of Seduction”– so the idea of seduction is on my mind. Why are we leading a session on seduction of all things? We usually think of seduction in a sexual or sensual realm. And it can certainly be a fun, exciting way of being in that realm and it can be so much more…
In Tiara, we are looking at seduction in an EXPANDED way. We are defining seduction as your power and access to inviting others into your life, into possibilities, and your vision. And here is the key: seduction is about being attractive (and I am NOT talking about physical beauty here) and drawing people in – without manipulation, without fear, without the need to control or dominate others, without, trickery, and without attachment to people doing what you want in the way you want it.
Bottom line BEING seductive is about attracting and drawing people into our visions, commitments and the possibilities we see in life. For me, I see being seductive as a way to playful AND committed as I seek to attract and draw in what I want in my life.
Let’s take an everyday example. My 5 year old son is a picky eater…the kind of kid who only likes very specific foods and likes them to be served in very specific ways. For example, you can’t just make him bacon, you have to cook it just the way he likes it or he throws a tantrum. In the last few months I have had enough of his eating habits and I was thinking about all of the books, experts, Internet sites, and strategies my husband and I have used to do something about his eating and it occurred to me, maybe I can approach this issue in a new way! Maybe I can bring the art of seduction and “invite” him into the possibility of eating new foods.
So here is what that looks like for me. First of all, I do a lot of deep breathing and letting go of my own demands about what he “should” eat. Second, I have been playful and fun with him about eating and imagine I am inviting him into new experiences (and new foods). Third, I don’t expect him to eat new foods but rather see this is an opportunity to support him in an exploration of the world of food. Fourth, I remain committed to my vision of my son eating and enjoying a variety of foods.
Here is what has happened so far. My son loves cheese crackers. And when I say “love” that doesn’t really express the depth to which he enjoys and delights at any and all forms of cheese crackers, especially Cheez-It crackers. Now because he loves them so much, I don’t usually keep them in the house because then that is ALL he wants to eat. So one day we were talking about fruits and vegetables. I was being silly and talking about Mr. Broccoli, Miss. Grape, etc. and how much they want to visit his tummy. I suggested that Cheez-it crackers would be a great reward for eating Mr. Broccoli and Miss Grape (okay in truth, my son asked me to stop saying Mr. Broccoli and Miss Grape so I’ll stop saying it in this blog too). During this interaction with my son, I found myself moving my body differently than I do when I am in the “I must get my son to eat healthy food” mode. There was lightness to my body. I stood with my shoulders rolled back and relaxed and felt I could move easily almost as if I was dancing without really dancing. I was playful and much to my surprise in the zone of seduction. My son asked, “so if I eat broccoli and grapes, I can have some Cheez-it crackers?” I said “yes” and went to the store with him to get all 3 foods. He ate 3 small pieces of broccoli (raw I might add) and 4 grapes. Then he got 4 crackers. And the next day he ate broccoli and carrots and grapes! Broccoli, carrots, and grapes OH MY! I seduced that boy into eating fruits and vegetables (okay, so he gets a few Cheez-it crackers as a reward…it still counts). And two nights ago at a restaurant when he only wanted bread, I said, “how about some rice?” in a sign-song, playful voice (I felt committed but totally willing to hear no) and much to my surprise the boy ordered and ate rice!
Okay….that is all the new food he is eating so far. Not a complete miracle but a small miracle and a miracle in our household nonetheless. No screaming, no crying, and no power struggle….just a little playful seduction and some new foods make it into my son’s stomach!
So think about seduction in your own life. A great way to get started is to think about an area of your life where you are already seductive. Where are you attracting and drawing people in? What is it about you that is seductive?• What are you present to when you are seductive?
• What are your feelings when you are seductive?
• What are your thoughts when you are seductive?
• What actions to you take?
• What are you committed to?
• What are you focused on?
• How do you hold your body?
• What is your energy like?
I encourage you to write down your answers to these questions and then see how you can expand this way of being seductive to another area of your life. I invite you to share here in response to this blog 1) how you are already seductive and 2) what areas of life you would like to be seductive (and perhaps what shifts you might make to BE more seductive).
And as long as we are talking about seduction, I would like to invite YOU to participate in a live 4 week Tiara Teleseries coaching conversation and inquiry into The Art of Seduction. Beth Ruske (another Tiara Program Coach) and I will be leading this Tiara Teleseries on April 6, 13, 20 and 27 from 11:15 to noon CST. This is your chance to learn about how you can be seductive in your life and get more of what you want. We will focus on tangible and practical ways you can apply what you learn to your life.
The cost of the teleclass is $100 and you can register at http://tiaracoaching.com/events/global-events/april-6-27-the-art-of-seduction-4-week-teleseries/
Email Alison with questions: amiller@tiaracoaching.com
Have fun and get out there and be seductive!
I am seductive when I am at an event that I put together and people who don’t necessarily know each other come and I can hug them all and introduce them to each other while sharing their similarities and then suddenly everyone has found someone to talk to and the energy fills the room.
My thoughts are joy in seeing everyone having a good time, my feelings are elated, joyful, enthusiastic, don’t want it to end, full of love, great new ideas come freely.
I am committed to making sure everyone feels included and has FUN! I am committed to creating laughter and fun and playfulness
My actions, the other night i did my Tiara dance in front of a few ladies and they said – we want to go out with you girl! Let’s organize a girls night out Wow….
I would like to be more seductive in my every day work life. It is just that – work. I want to bring playfulness and joy and laughter and dancing. I already have started doing my Tiara dance periodically – My 25 year old son works for me and at first was embarrassed but now laughs with me — it is a process…..
I am seductive because I am constantly exploring, (while leading) the “impossible” in many people’s eyes. I am leading a life where I love my work and can do it from anywhere with a meaningful impact.
When I converse with others, they are inspired and invigorated to pursue their own “impossible” dreams. I have actually had people say that I inspire them! I cannot think of a more meaningful compliment.
The conversations that I engage in have drawn many people into my community. Often people ask me if I would be willing to speak to another friend of theirs regarding a personal pursuit. I am so honored and thrilled to do so.
I can “SEDUCE” people into following their passions and welcome them into a community that supports inspired actions.
I would like make some shifts in my relationship with my husband. We find ourselves stuck in our own routine and often do not appreciate the little “quirks” that we once found attractive… A silly comment,a goofy face or good old fashion flirty behavior
Based on my reflection here, I have decided that I am going to do something silly every day to fuel seduction and break up boring routines. I am excited to so and am looking forward to acting like a kid again!