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The Gift of Gratitude
by Alison Miller
February 26, 2010
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckart
I have been thinking a lot about gratitude lately. What it means, how it feels, and how to expand the presence of gratitude in my life. Gratitude is both a state of being; being thankful and appreciative and a feeling; feeling thankful and appreciative. Often gratitude is fleeting in our lives…present when we like what is happening and not present when we don’t like what is happening. Yet, we do have a choice when it comes to gratitude. We can choose to be grateful regardless of the circumstances in our lives. We can treat gratitude as an active stance that we deliberately hold toward life. In this stance, we open our eyes fully and see the richness and abundance in life and are more fully present to what there is to appreciate. A quote from the Buddha that reminds me of this possibility is:
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful. – Buddha
I heard someone say recently that the only way to live a life of true dignity is to live in gratitude. He spoke of how life without gratitude keeps us stuck believing that the current state of our life is insufficient and that happiness and fulfillment can only come from having more than what we have. Over the years I have become increasingly present to the gift of gratitude in life although truthfully I often find myself going in and out of how present I am to gratitude in my life.
I have had the desire to be more present to gratitude for some time hoping to have something happen that would awaken my soul and leave me in a deeper state of appreciation. Strangely enough that happened for me in an unexpected place…seeing the film Avatar. The film takes place on a planet called Pandora and much of the story takes place among the people indigenous to the planet. These people are called the Nuvi and they have a very profound relationship to their planet, to one another and all life, plants and animals that live on Pandora. In one scene, two of the lead characters are hunting and one of them kills an animal for food. She leans over and thanks and blesses the animal for the gift it has given with its life. Over the course of the film you see how the Nuvi people are deeply connected to the soul of their planet and each other and how they live in deep appreciation of what their planet offers them.
Since I have seen the film I have found myself much more present to my connection to other people and the planet in which I live. I have found myself wondering frequently about where the objects in my environment come from. Where did the tree grow that supplied the wood for my desk? Who cut down the tree and transported on its journey to become my desk? Who cut up the wood? Who made it into a desk? Who took it the store where I purchased it? Who brought it to my home? When I go to my closet I have been wondering about what were the raw materials for the clothing come from? Who designed these clothes? Who sewed them? Where do they live? What are their lives like? When I open my refrigerator or go the grocery store I feel amazed by the variety of food that is available that has been supplied through so many different sources. What has opened up for me is an incredible sense of gratitude for all that is present in my life and all of the people, animals, plants, etc. in which I am connected. Even when I am struggling in some area of my life or not happy with something, I see gratitude is always available. I am aiming to have gratitude be a central part of my life and it is a journey of discovery to bring it more fully to life.
What are your thoughts on gratitude? How do you make gratitude a practice in your life? How can you expand the presence of gratitude in your life?
I THANK YOU so much for posting this. Today I practiced focusing on having gratitude be my most dominant feeling. It was so gratifying as I went about my day. I was joyful and upbeat and very in tune with the little things that I was thankful for. I even noticed myself being more patient due to my gratitude. While at the UPS store I was trying to send a fax and the UPS guy was having difficulty. Instead of getting frustrated and impatient, I found myself thanking him for taking the time to send it and it made for a very pleasant interaction.
I actually do have a gratitude journal that my husband gave me quite awhile ago. I must admit that I have not used it in my everyday practice, but I am certainly more motivated to do so, given what a wonderful day I had today. Happiness is a great motivator and that was today! Joy and happiness!
I find that gratitude is more available to me everytime I allow myself to pause and listen or wait for one more moment than I normally would. Each extra moment has expanded my perspective and offered me more gifts than I can count. Even waiting for an extra moment before I transition from one activity to the next, allows me to have better intentions for the new activity and learn one more thing from the activity I just coompleted. Each time I take a moment to pause, it’s like an invitation to a party of more possibilities than I could have imagined! It’s a new nurishing practice!
In the last year I started my “Loving Thoughts” journal and every morning (mostly) I write at least four things I am grateful for. Some days I fill a page (even if I think I had a bad day)! And it is fun to go back and remember what I am grateful for. My 22 year old son called and we talked about his life dreams, My friend and I walked for an hour, One of my coworkers showed me a beautiful invitation she had created, etc, etc
Helps me to remember that even on a “bad” day really wonderful things happened also.
Perhaps growing up in a home where my father was chronically sick since his early 30s made me more aware of the little things. I’ve understood since childhood that health and well-being should not be taken lightly or for granted.
I live a very busy life that includes an overbooked calendar but I’m very conscious of setting practices on a daily basis to anchor myself from a place of gratitude.
Every morning when I awake and at night before I fall asleep I engage in meditation, affirmation, journaling or quiet time to remind myself of the blessings in my life. I try to light tibetan incense as a symbolic gesture of thanks. I attempt to reach out to loved ones and friend to acknowledge them and leave their world a sunnier place (especially in Chicago during the winter!).
It is all about slowing down.. taking baby steps and being present… to yourself, others and the beautiful world we live in.
“In the material world, there are limitations. We always want more, but in the spiritual world, just a short prayer and you’re infinitely content.” HH Dalai Lama
Alison,
I love the gratitude conversation. I agree gratitude, like acceptance is an active stance. I think active gratitude is choosing to be present to all of the wonderful variety of things present in our lives rather than waiting for a “feeling” to show up. I think the choice of this active stance opens you up to all sorts of neat things that you have pointed out.
For me, this is my intention, to practice gratitude as I move through life and I find my external experience very easy to acknowledge and be in gratitude around.
I really want to expand the gratitude of my internal experience, the thoughts and feelings my brain generates. I find it sooo much harder to maintain this stance and see much of my internal experience with wonder and gratitude. I want to expand this and make it available to me
I feel such gratitude around this great community, y’all are fantastic!
Curt
PS. I’m a total sucker for Avatar!