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Why are we afraid to want?
by Amy Riley
September 1, 2010
We hear about the value of vision boards and thinking big. And, I agree. Achieving 60% of a big dream beats achieving 60% of smaller version of the same dream. Actively envisioning what it will look and feel like when you’ve gotten what you want, helps you see and clarify potential actions you might take towards making your desires a reality.
And, I think it’s fun to look forward to things. An important and great part of the experience of a vacation for me is in the anticipation of the trip: looking forward to it, thinking about how enjoyable it will be, and telling everyone about my upcoming travel plans!
So, why do I stop myself so often from wanting what I really want? Couldn’t that help me get what I want? Couldn’t it be fun to imagine what it’ll be like to get what I want? So, why stop myself?
I let concerns get in the way. Concerns about whether I’m wanting the “right” thing, being too ”frivolous,” whether I “deserve” it, the possibility that I might change my mind, or having no earthly clue “how” it could happen. And, of course, there are things that I’m not supposed to want: to be the center of attention, to receive praise, or to make lots of money easily.
Unfortunately, it’s normal and natural for us to repress our wants. Yet, in doing so we’re cutting off part of the possibility of actually getting what we want. What if we could set the concerns aside and allow ourselves to freely want? I think often the knee-jerk reaction is, “Then I’ll be disappointed if I don’t get what I want.”
Well, here is what I’m reminding myself of these days. I already don’t have the thing I’m afraid I won’t get, and I am already secretly or unconsciously wanting it. So what’s the harm in being truthful with myself and admitting I want it? In fact, given my beliefs about the power of our thoughts and feelings, it can only help me.
What about for you: What stops you from wanting what you want? And what are you willing to freely and audaciously want for yourself?
I’ll start: I want to dance on “Dancing with the Stars.”
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