Blog
Acceptance as a key to freedom
by Amy Riley
February 3, 2010
In Tiara, we talk about acceptance being the key to freedom. If we are able to 1) accept our circumstances and 2) accept our reactions to the circumstances, then we’ll have the freedom to “respond” rather than “react.”
Sounds good in theory, yet I’m always one who likes to look at how it works in reality. So, I took a look for myself.
Today on my way to a lunch meeting that I was really excited about, I got a call from my son’s daycare. He’s running a 101 degree fever. Ugh! Okay, here’s an opportunity to apply acceptance.
First step was for me to choose to accept my circumstances: My son was sick. That was it: he was sick, he had a fever and he needed to be picked up from daycare. Not, “Oh I should’ve seen that he wasn’t doing well this morning. I’m a bad mom.” or “The universe is out to get me.” or “My kids are sick ALL the time.” None of that. Just that it’s 10:30am and my son is sick.
Okay, so I turn left at the next light to head to daycare and I’m on the path to accepting my circumstances. Now, my reactions. Whew, I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed that I can’t go to this lunch. It had been rescheduled once before and I was looking forward to seeing my friend and business partner and eating at California Pizza Kitchen. I’m disappointed that my little guy is sick. He had been lethargic a few days before and my husband stayed home with him 2 days earlier. We thought we had done what we needed to so that he’d be well. And, my husband had rearranged his schedule during a full week just weeks before an important production launch for him. I was disappointed that what we’d done hadn’t been enough. So, I’m letting the feeling in, I’m letting the disappointment in and not trying to pretend that I’m not disappointed. I’m not pretending like I’m supposed to be all great and all positive about it. I’m clear that I’m disappointed and a bit sad and concerned about my son and annoyed. It’s a relief to own it.
I can now, after having admitted my reactions and loosened things up for me a bit, also look at what was great about the situation. There are a number of aspects about the situation that are great. Thank goodness I have the kind of business partner who says, “I’m sorry about your son. Go be a Mom. We’ll reschedule.” I’m grateful I have my own business and have the flexibility to take care of my son the rest of the day. I amazingly don’t have any other appointments this afternoon so there’s nothing else I have to rearrange in this moment. What I’ve committed to doing today, could be done in an hour – maybe an hour and a half – after the kids go to bed. I have great daycare providers who are on top of my son’s well-being and noticed my son’s fever right away and will be as concerned as I am.
After I start looking at what was working inside the situation, I was able to get into free-flowing action. Before I arrived at daycare, I had a doctor’s appointment for my son scheduled that day and had made arrangements for Grandma to be with my son the next day.
The acceptance approach seemed to work in the moment! Now, I see I’m resisting the idea that I might have to clear my schedule the day after tomorrow to be at home with my son. Another opportunity to bring some acceptance…
In what situations have you been able to bring acceptance? Where do you see opportunities to bring more acceptance?
You know I had the toughest time going back to work after my 2nd baby and finding good preschool was probably the biggest reason.