Blog
Do you already have what you are looking for?
by Betsy Sobiech
February 20, 2009
On the Tiara teleconference call on Wed (2/18/09) we talked about how you are the ultimate creator of having a life full of LOVE. There might be a couple of things that are really counter intuitive to the conversation we had, for example:
- If you want to have love in your life you have to realize that it is already present in your life.
- Even though you are saying you want love you might not understand that you are probably focusing on the opposite – not having love. You are probably putting your attention on what you don’t want – not what you DO want. That’s a HUGE vibrational disconnect. If you are thinking about what you don’t have or don’t want to happen, then that is where you attention is going.
And, it can be pretty tricky because you might actually think you are focused on what you want, but really, the fear of not getting or having it is lurking behind your thoughts, words and emotions. Tricky Indeed!
Several years ago I was frustrated in my relationship with my husband. In my ‘totally correct point of view’, everything he did was wrong and I took it as a personal affront. I kept saying things like, “I want to be a priority in your life. I want to feel like I matter and that you want to spend time with me.” I kept focusing on what was NOT right. But one day, literally within 45 minutes, a shift occurred. I did 3 things:
- I admitted I was afraid we were going to separate (my worst fear)
- I chose to want a loving partnership above all things (and I completely gave up being right)
- I believed that it was possible and I was going to have it!
At that moment I also chose to see my husband for the really remarkable man he is:
An honest and hard working man, incredibly creative and resourceful, a wonderful father to our sons, charming and handsome, funny, a great lover, willing to put up with me and my crazy ideas, someone I have come to count on and lean on, someone who may not say a lot with his words but does a lot of little things to take care of me – like start my car in the dead of winter, drive an hour to come to my rescue and change (yet another) tire I blew out, or jump to my defense if he feels our sons are not being respectful enough of their mother.
I want to be in a relationship where my spouse puts me first – where I know I am the #1 thing he is thinking about. So, for me, getting the very thing I wanted came by releasing my anxiety around not having it and seeing where it already existed?
That’s what we mean when we say – be the love of your life . . . it is all within your control. No, I don’t mean you can control or manipulate others – because you obviously can’t. However, you can certainly control the way you think and feel and create your own attractiveness and magnetism. And that IS your job. If you want love; be loving, express love in your relationships, recognize the love that already exists in your life, and expect to be loved.
Where might you be asking for the very thing you already have – but you are not yet open to seeing it?
Hmmm.
Have a great weekend.
Beth